TULANMEN - 4 UGAYMEN, WE R VERY TULAN

This is the longest post in uglymen.net so far, take your time, make a cup of coffee if u want, and sit back and read slowly, u wil enjoy it, promised  

So, every one seem so quiet here, guess i have to carry my heavy ass and sit infront of my cheap Acer laptop to post some crappies again. By the way, Sprite has not responded here for some time and her email box is stuffed as i kept getting delivery failures. Are you ok sprite? hello? knock knock? Hooi, is sprite ok?? any body there???

damn it, it hurts as i type on the even most delicate soft keyboard, as there are some pockies grew exactly on my finger tips.

Ok, get in topic now, as most of you know, at present, we have 5 major Telcos in Malaysia, Maxis(012), TM Touch(013), Digi(014, 016), TimeNet(017), Celcom(019), where Maxis has bought up TimeNet, and TM Touch and Celcom has some secretive connections, and Digi? yes, the one i am using is Digi.

For your information, not too long ago, there were 010 (Celcom old code), 011 (Atur), 018 (Mobikom)

My first line was way back in 1996 where i used 017 474 2468, and later 017 591 5555, and and later 017 475 6475. Wonder why i always use 017 and changed numbers so often? What? bcos i lost my phones? ok, ok, that is part of it, but the main reason was: last time 017 was known as ADAM, and managed by a wonderful but lack of business sense directors. There was once SMS(s) were free on 017, and i bet my k-bro Paul Ooi sure remembers that time as we SMS for over 500? wat? 800 sms monthly, until my fingers sore… (For your information, when SMS first started out in Malaysia, Maxis was charging the first 10 sms monthly for free, THEN! all additional sms are RM1.00 each!)

And, in addition, ADAM often gives special offers like 0 monthly fee, 0 monthly fee for sub-lines…. you would have been knocking your head on the wall if you were not subscribing ADAM. AH!! and one more very good reason to use ADAM, i guess not many will remember this, as you have to queue your life to pay bills at Celcom, Maxis…. it was a “drive thru” at ADAM, so few customers every time….wahahaha….

All went well for ADAM until i started studying in Penang and laid my hands on the Nokia9110, the phone was retialing at about RM2999 but with a new line subscribed to Maxis, you will get about RM300 rebate!, wow, so, bye bye ADAM. By the way, at that time, ADAM was facing bankruptcy liao and the line is oways “no-line”… hahaha… and few years later, Maxis has bought over it…

So, i have my new number as 012 431 9110, i am still using it now, opps, dont try to stalk or spam me, but all jokes, dirty messages are welcomed ;-)… anyway, that is not my primary number now.

Since using that Nokia9110, i have started to contact customer service so often like sometimes i forgot i thought i was talking to my friend when i called the help line. Why? Cos I love to explore all services offered, from the now-out-dated WAP to GPRS to EDGE to Mobile TV to 3G…. So, here’s how i started my little sentimental experience with diffrent telcos and i have beautiful tales to tell you…

My mom uses Celcom (019), and my friend af fatt used to have Tm Touch (013), and now I have Digi (016), and have used TM Touch (013), Mobifon (018) on the road til today… so, more or less i had brushed shoulders with all of them.

Since I have crossswords with them so many times, i only note down the “memorable” ones here:

MAXIS (012):
This is the telco that i always call for help and understand more about their products. I have an extra ordinary connection with the Alor Setar branch and even assisted them in a project for them to be selected as the some what “Best Branch Outlet Award” or something back in 2005. I use credit-card auto payment since day one with Maxis so i never went to the outlet to pay, but sometimes my credit card runs out on limit (ooppps… shudnt say it here), then i have to pay there. The queue wasnt too long (2005), and it was quite a pleasant wait as i browse through newspaper reading how Janet Jackson promoted her nipple hardware in a super bowl game. And yeah, the CSO (Customer Service Officers) were friendly, knowledgable, and most importantly, speak fluent like the drain English.

Bottom line~
Face to face service: Execellent
Helpline serivice: Excellent
Product: Excellent
Worth: Ok lo, but some services are too expensive like unlimited GPRS download…

TM TOUCH (013):
……………… wait…………………………. wait……………………………….still waiting……………………………………………….. ……………..nothing….. wait……………………………………… still waiting………………………………………… (getting mad)………………………………….. (hung up)…….

Repeat the above procedure 5 times, and FINALLY the help line got through.
I was helping my friend ah fatt to ask something about his phone bill, as he was not fluent in both bahasa and English, i called the help line using his cell phone. OK, finally there was some one answering my call, indicating the help line was real and not a fake in fact. Due to the fact that i have accumulated the total amount of ammunition enough to clear Hiroshima island, here’s the conversation (roughly remembered)~ 

Me: Hello
CSO: hello, selamat petang.
Me: (Wat the fuxk, i pressed ENGLISH! E-N-G-L-I-S-H)
Me: Saya nak tanya you sangat sibuk ke sekarang atau you punya boss tak cukup duit untuk upah CSO?
CSO: (giggling…) eh… eh…
[ah fatt was laughing silently beside me]
CSO: Ya kah? (still smiling tone) Apa yang boleh say bantu…
Me: (told him the problem, wasted more than 15 minutes, and the problem never got solved)…

I have another friend Ah Thye, he was also using a 013 back in the late 90s and asked me to accompany him to the TM TOUCH office to solve some problem, the queue was longer than the high-way queue during Chinese New Year holiday, and i am prohibited from using the words that i wanted to use to describe the quality of service.

Bottom line~
Face to face service: better dont waste your time
Helpline serivice: huh? 013 got help line???
Product: product? what product?
Worth: You rather save your money and buy the Indonesian non-nude version Playboy magazine

DIGI (016):
Since Digi is my primary line, i will have loads of stories to tell you. Here are some interesting ones:
When i registered my DIGI number in 2005 February, I befriended the whole DIGI special outlet staff in Alor Setar, mind you there is no DIGI service centre in Alor Setar (til now), and told them my band was releasing a CD soon, well, since i am so sociable, so handsome, so cute, so charming, so adorable, EVERY staff at the outlet bought a CD from me. (P/S: total number of staff: two)

Meanwhile, here’s another story. Early last year, DIGI introduced Caller Ringtones in Malaysia, and I actually called up the help line, and wanted to clarify whether can I put UGLYMEN’s song as the Caller Ringtones, obviously it cant, but since calling helpline is free, what the heck….

Me: I would like to ask about the caller ringtone service
CSO: ya ya.. started to blah blah blah….
Me: Ya, i have registered it, and I started to use it…. what i wanted to know is…
CSO: ya ya… go to wwww.digi.com.my, log in…. bla blah
Me: No no, i mean my song…
CSO: ya, your favourite songs, you can choose from diffrent categories…
Me: No no, i mean my song, the song that i sing, like now i sing to you, and recorded down, and put as caller ringtones.
CSO: eh… I’m sorry Mr Lee, we dont have that service at the moment but….. blah blah

Well, at least i got my answer, and the experience was not bad though i think, just thinking, the CSO who answered my call must be a new comer or some one trying hard to impress his superior on his working performance. For your information, almost every time after i call helpline, no matter is which telco, there will be an sms or a phone call to you, asking you to rank the “satisfactory level” of the customer service quality. Maxis and Digi always get my 4 or 5 (a level of 1 to 5,  1 being the least satisfactory) Wat? u mean how do i rate TM TOUCH? I coudn’t rate la, i wanted to give negative -5, but the system only accept 1 to 5.

Another story. I also had BAD experience with DIGI. My sister also uses DIGI, but she uses prepaid, i am lazy to talk about the details, briefly like this:
My sister topped up RM100 1 week before her birthday (if u registered your prepaid SIM with DIGI, u will get kindof brithday reward or something), and was promised to get about 30 or 50% of the amount topped up. After 5 days, still nothing happen (no reward), so i called my friend (the DIGI special outlet staff @ UGLYMEN CD supporter), he told me this must refer to DIGI Customer Service Centre, and the nearest is in PENANG!
After a few helplines called being made to no avail, i went to PENANG with my sis. ( dont get me wrong, i did not go to Penang intentionally on that purpose, i drove to Penang every week)
At the DIGI centre, there was this confusing pragnant lady (i suppose is the head of CSO) who talked chicken with us while we were talking duck. She was rude and made me think is she some kind of sadist because she is under tremendous pressure to deliver, or worried over her upcoming milk powder bills, children education… come on, put that a side, she was way too too rude. So, simple, (my sis was very agitated, she is big size, she can fight too, but the calm Michael Lee stopped her) instead, i pulled my sis and off we went.
At home, i serached on www.digi.com.my, and found a link “Contact Us”. ah huh!, and wrote a letter to the HQ, well, needless to say, my sis got her rewards, and a representative called up my sis to apologize on behalf of that bitch.

Bottom line~
Face to face service: some time works, some time wont
Helpline serivice: good, keep calling, its free, check my bills, payment, limits, services….
Product: why on earth did DIGI fail to obtain the 3G licence, i think only the Malaysian government can explain this!!
Worth: Go for it.

ADAM / TimeCel / TimeNet (017):
As mentioned as above, used to be using ADAM, but no more, now became TimeNet.

Bottom line (ADAM, not now)~
Face to face service: Super Excellent
Helpline serivice: Never Call, bcos i called the branch CSO directly, who are my good friends (Kim and Ooi), heard they got married, wonder where they are now…
Product: Too good to be true
Worth: (Was) number one phone line in malaysia, so many things free, that’s why now already gone!

Mobifon (018):
Well, not much to tell on this one as i only used it for about 1 month. All I can say is last time the cell phones are manufactured for two diffrent frequencies, we have the PCN network and GSM network, where 012,019 are GSM, and 013, 016, 017, 018 are PCN. For example, if you buy a Nokia 5130 (which is PCN), you can not use it on Maxis, or Celcom and vice versa. Nowadays all cell phones are “unlocked” and can be used on both networks.

I switched to Mobifon for just a month to try out the network, and since i was using a PCN phone (ADAM 017), i would have to try out 018, because i would have been the most most most stupidest to try out TM TOUCH (also PCN)

This post seemd too long now, i will spare Celcom the spanking for now, but i will return with PART II of this post

Hint: CELCOM was the WORST experience i had so far!! Look out for the post soon.