UGLYM3N

SEX IS HEALTHY

It has been known for many years that Sex was good

exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific

study of the calorie content of different sexual

activities. Now after “original and proprietary”

research the results are in:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent……..12 Calories

Without her consent……….2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands……8 Calories

With one hand……….12 Calories

With your teeth…….485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection…….6 Calories

Without an erection………..3315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:

Trying to find the clitoris………8 Calories

Trying to find the G-Spot……..4092 Calories

POSITIONS:

Missionary………….12 Calories

69 lying down……….78 Calories

69 standing up………..812 Calories

Wheelbarrow………216 Calories

Doggy Style………326 Calories

Italian chandelier…..2912 Calories

ORGASMS:

Real………………112 Calories

Fake…………………..131 Calories

POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging……………18 Calories

Getting up immediately………36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately……….. 816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years……….36 Calories

30-39 years……….80 Calories

40-49 years………..124 Calories

50-59 years…………1972 Calories

60-69 years…………..7916 Calories

70 and over……..Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly…………….32 Calories

In a hurry…………98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door…5218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door..13,521 Calories