Monthly Archives: July 2006

uncle beh jokes

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1. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
        The Female pencil got pregnant !!
        Which Male pencil is responsible?
        THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

     2. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone
         rings! “YES”.. OK, BYE”. She turns to her lover and
        says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.

    3. Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
        Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!
        Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!
       Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

    4. Three Guys were introduced to a girl.
        Hi,…. I'm Peter, not a saint.
         I'm Paul not a POPE.
         I'm John not a Baptist…
        The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN..

     5. Girlfriends are appetizers. Tastes good at any
         time. Mistresses are Tomyams..Hot and spicy. Eaten
         frequently. WIVES are Maggie. Eaten when there's
         nothing to eat.!!!
  
    6. Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts
        her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER. She replied: I
        RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!

   7. Yesterday news – A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was
        raped by 4 guys.   Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns
       found jogging at the park.

Please help this poor girl, she is dying….. unless some body lend a hand, eh, not some body, many bodies, land hands.

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i am very pun tua translate, in short, donate money for her brain operation, or she wont make it longer. All donations are tax exempted, official receipt issued, how official is that? Issued by The China Press, official enough? kekeke.. You can go straight to any China Press Office through out Malaysia to donate, if you are not free or inconvenient, you can pass the donation to me as i go to China Press office (Alor Setar) every week. Quote below:

Name: Teng Yee Ling (translated)
Age: 25
Sickess: Brain Tumour
Location: KL
Press Release: 15th July

（吉隆坡14日訊）出世時因醫生疏忽導致頭腦智障的女孩，近來因頭腦開始積水和生水瘤，必須盡快動手術，否則生命則有危險。現年25歲的鄧依玲出世時，因院方沒有妥善處理，導致她的腦部受到細菌感染，加上發燒及抽痙，最后變成智障女。她的媽媽羅梅女士（54歲），為了照顧腦殘障的依玲，毅然放下一切工作，全力照顧可憐的女兒。而依玲的生父也因為怕負上沉重的負擔而遺棄了她們。

據羅女士稱，依玲雖然頭腦有智障，但是她還是可以到處走動，自己上廁所。但自從腦部有積水的跡象后，依玲開始喊頭痛，時常抽痙，身體甚至開始癱瘓。醫生建議必須盡快動手術把腦裡的積水及水瘤除去，否則生命將不保。

長期沒工作

為了照顧依玲，羅梅已長期沒有工作，家裡的生計也已早有問題，目前又要支付昂貴的醫藥費，真是雪上加霜。

她希望通過“慈愛人間”懇求各界的善心人士慷慨捐助，資助依玲進行頭腦手術，挽救依玲的性命，羅梅感激不盡。

有意捐助鄧依玲的熱心人士，可通過本報“慈愛人間”捐獻義款。

Malaysia School Teacher Boleh…

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surely u heard of teacher caning students' palm, well, some times we read about slapping, and it's also normal we see male students spanked on their butt… but, this is fresh one… have u heard of a 17 year old female student being caned on, eh….. her breast??? kekeke, read la, wait for what??

http://www.chinapress.com.my/content_new.asp?dt=2006-07-16&sec=malaysia&art=0716mb90.txt

ohh ohh arh arh, ric sure wil like it

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Suan, u outdate liao la, post heatseek here, heatseek is browser, need to browse and most of the links wont work la, go here la, NO NEED browse, just download everything for FREE.

http://www.yourfilehost.com/top50_day.php?af=off

This is a new site, traffice not much yet, so why wait, go now la! ohh ohh arh arh, Ric loves this site… ooh ohh ahh ahh

ps: for new visitor: welcome to Uglymen.net porn portal.

Pink Floyd former guitarist RIP

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(1965)

Former guitarist and founder of Pink Floyd band, who have surely influenced bunch if not thousands of chinese bands in malaysia, Syd Barrett (not David Gilmour la). Died in his home in Oxford. He was 60.

(1966 ?)

He formed the band with Roger Waters, Rick Wright and Nick Mason in 1965, before he left the band and the current legendary David Gilmour took over after 3 years.


(later years)

RIP Sir Syd Barrett.

Malaysia Boleh Again… Wooo…

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i wonder when can the stories stop, hmm. guess never.

I still remember when my pouch was stolen back in 2003 infront of my house at about 5.30pm, by a chxx bxe xaxxx boy, i called the police when the boy shundnt have gone far yet, the police said wil come investigate (well, i would say it was useless also if they would have came, bcos my house area is kampung area, many atap chu and lorong lorong, i guess the boy could just go and hide inside one of the houses)

anyway, the story is: the police came to my house to take photos at about 9.45pm, where the boy had surely boarded a plane to hell and meet his idol Mr Satan.

Here's another Malaysia Boleh story for you, fresh from the oven:

http://www.chinapress.com.my/content_new.asp?dt=2006-07-13&sec=malaysia&art=0713mnw31.txt

The Malaysia Boleh Stories Continue…

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Smart Card or Smart Ass

 

You better get a MyKad reader to read your so call MyKad's contents, its cheap only, you can get it from practically 7-11, convenient stores, or online www.lelong.com.my at only RM15-RM30

If you dont do it today, dont regret if one day when you die (touch wood) your funeral will be delayed or even worse, your corpse will be dis-owned from your family. Too many cases happenned. Other issues concerned are wedding, giving birth…
Do it now or you may get fxkced by the Malaysia Boleh MyKad.

http://www.chinapress.com.my/content_new.asp?dt=2006-07-12&sec=malaysia&art=0712mb72.txt

Congratulations ITALY

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The French was never was, never really into the game, until a player dived to earn a penalty.

I must say French was the luckiest team in World Cup 2006 because they should have been OUT long ago.

They went through to the second round because the Argentine refree overruled an off site decision by the linesman and gave Swizzerland a goal against Korea.

Yes, AGAIN the same refree award a FREE penalty to France yesterday against Italy, where no defenders touched Malouda but he flung himself down.

And yes, again, the French was awarded a FREE PENALTY against Portugal, which they won with that only goal.

It was a good match yesterday, but it would have been much better if Italy was against other teams rather than the boring French.


Shakira entertaining the crowd before kick off

I wil eat Italain Spagetti for 10 days!!