UGLYM3N = GAYM3N

oh boy, we just cancelled another gig in penang. a good friend of us (LBS Music at bukit jambul) introduced us to this gig organizer. we were supposed to perform at this venue for 2 shows but after talking to the organizer we were quite surprised with the arrangement. they emailed the letter of performance to us to read/scrutinize composed of a bunch of strategic statements to convince us that playing at their venue will increase our portfolio. then something happened! indeed, we got a little bit pissed off but what the… just read on.

the story is like this. a few days ago, i called the gig organizer and spoke to her after i had received the letter of performance.

me: hi there, i’m calling from uglymen band
organizer: hi, hello. who is this?
me: i’m ong
organizer: hello mr ong, nice to hear from you. i am ms ****
me: hi ms ****. i’m calling regarding the gigs that you guys are organizing and also the dates that we can choose to perform
organizer: are you ok with the invitiation?
me: should be ok. i would like to know that since this is a public performance, do you guys compensate performing bands with some kind of expenses reimbursement? (performance fee)
organizer: actually, we dont normally do that because our area provides a very good marketing publicity for your band
me: huh?
organizer: we allow you guys to promote your band here and it is a FREE publicity for your company or band
me: promote? huh? promote what?
organizer: i mean promote your band or products. do you have a CD to sell. we have a lot of people during the christmas season.
me: (kaneh) well, our band doesnt actually do any promotion as we do not have anything to promote. we are not working as performing musicians for a living
organizer: you see, you can use our stage to promote yourself and make known to more people
me: …
me: ok fine
organizer: by the way, what is it that you are asking in your email about us having to provide you with drumset, amplifiers, microphones etc?
me: ??!?
me: these are stage equipments for live performing
organizer: ohhhh. can you bring your own?
me: (@#$%^&*) ??!?? we dont have any of these. we dont have a studio with such equipments
organizer: ohhhh. because if you have these equipments, we can allow you guys to come early to setup before you perform
me: (TULAN) usually, when we perform, we will bring our own hand held instruments and some basic stuff. organizers need to prepare their own drumsets, microphones, soundmen and stage monitors
organizer: we dont have. what can we do about it?
me: well, first, you can rent from a music rental shop
organizer: you mean borrow?
me: rent. as in renting a car. you have to pay for it
organizer: pay for it? hmmmm… what about… can you guys play a CD and sing as karaoke
me: …
me: …..
me: …….
me: NO, we cant cause we do not have a minus-one CD (minus-one CD is our songs in karaoke)
organizer: can you rent the stage equipments yourself?
me: ………. NO!
organizer: when people want to perform at our venue, they will rent from us. it’s around RM500 for whole day. we are giving you guys an opportunity to perform free at our venue
organizer: we are offering you a good promotion for your band
me: i think our band wont be able to perform based on your requirement. i think it’s much better if you can get someone else to perform. maybe a duet or group who can perform using a keyboard, an acoustic guitar or minus-one CD. our live performance is a bit troublesome where we need live stage equipments to perform
organizer: oic, then we’ll think about that option of getting other acts
me: thanks for inviting us and sorry to disappoint you guys
organizer: maybe in future we can collaborate again for other performances?
me: we’ll see, you can email us
me: bye

sigh… what a funny encounter…